Poor Disney...

No really!

Their track record with teen queens just isn’t the best. Hilary Duff, Lindsay Lohan, Vanessa Hudgens and now, Miley Cyrus.

Hey, we all grow up, sometime. And we all have our chance to make mistakes, right?

Well, by the accounts of some folks, it’s a bit tougher when you get to do that in the public eye. And maybe a bit less forgiving than some folks would like, too.

Here’s a story from AP that tells a bit of the latest with Miley Cyrus:

Miley Cyrus says Vanity Fair photo spread embarrasses her

Monday, April 28, 2008

(04-28) 16:17 PDT LOS ANGELES, (AP) --

“Miley Cyrus is taking issue with a photo of herself that's going around, and it's not another amateur, truth-or-dare Internet snapshot — it's the handiwork of Annie Leibovitz.

"I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed," Cyrus said Sunday in a statement through her publicist. "I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about."

The photos, appearing in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, were taken by Leibovitz, a renowned celebrity photographer whose edgy, silver-toned portraits have included subjects such as Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson and a naked, pregnant Demi Moore.

"I'm sorry that my portrait of Miley has been misinterpreted," Leibovitz said in a statement released by Vanity Fair. "Miley and I looked at fashion photographs together and we discussed the picture in that context before we shot it. The photograph is a simple, classic portrait, shot with very little makeup, and I think it is very beautiful."

The Cyrus pictures accompany an interview with the 15-year-old pop star and her father, singer Billy Ray Cyrus. One photo in particular is causing the biggest stir: the teen idol is wrapped in what appears to be a satin bedsheet, looking over her shoulder with her back exposed.

The Disney Channel, which airs Cyrus' TV show "Hannah Montana," was also critical of Vanity Fair.

"Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines," a network statement said.

Vanity Fair defended the story and photo shoot in a statement of its own.

"Miley's parents and/or minders were on the set all day," the magazine said. "Since the photo was taken digitally, they saw it on the shoot and everyone thought it was a beautiful and natural portrait of Miley."

In a caption released by Vanity Fair with the photo, Cyrus expressed her comfort with how the apparently topless picture turned out.

"I think it's really artsy," she told the magazine at the time. "It wasn't in a skanky way. Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought that was really cool. That's what she wanted me to do, and you can't say no to Annie."

A handful of borderline racy snapshots of a girl who appeared to be Cyrus have appeared on the Internet in recent months, including images of a girl posing in her underwear and bikini last week. In one shot, she's draped over a young man.

Cyrus is one of the biggest — and most G-rated — acts in the country and is often considered a role model for young girls. Her "Best of Both Worlds" tour sold out arenas, and her successful 3-D concert film collected $31.3 million in its opening weekend in February.”

All well and good right? Maybe not...

The San Francisco Chronicle’s Tim Goodman (yes, of Cranky Pants fame) shares his thoughts on this scandal and more:

Miley Cyrus on skin spin

Tim Goodman

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Everything we know we learned from television:

-- Remind us again when the really compelling part of election coverage happens on television? Has it all gone down in Wolf's "Situation Room" thingy? Because the last time we walked in there, we were sorely disappointed.

-- After much internal debate in regard to the Miley Cyrus Photo Scandals, we have this to say: Who?

Although we think there are far more important things to discuss, like dumb TV stuff, it's hard to fathom the deepest levels of spin that are going on around Cyrus and the photos of her (clothed) that popped up on the Internet and the ones Annie Leibovitz took (pretty much clothed) for the current issue of Vanity Fair.

For starters, this is about money. About making money off what is likely a highly polished, not completely real persona - Hannah Montana - for the Disney Channel. For enders, it's about money. Period.

The notion - and given the highest profile failures of past Disney-linked teen starlets, it's an ideal, not a reality - is that clean-cut tweeners and teens are good role models, and good role models make everybody rich. Once said tweeners/teen role models go sexy or, worse, skanky or, worse than that, drunk or druggy - the meal ticket gets punched and everybody has to start over again in creating this fictional character.

When the 15-year-old Cyrus popped up on the Internet flashing a lime green bra and lounging over some boy (pretty tame stuff given other teens-gone-wild), she committed the cardinal sin of blurring the line between her fake identity, Hannah Montana, with that of a mostly normal 15-year-old girl. For shame.

Then the Vanity Fair pictures appeared, showing Cyrus essentially backless, and all of a sudden the world ends. Never mind that most summer dresses and halter tops that young girls wear show off more skin or that it was artfully done by Leibovitz. In combination with the Internet photos (which were, if you really want to parse it, worse for her image), the spin began in earnest, capped by Cyrus issuing a statement saying she was "embarrassed" by the Leibovitz photos. Her statement: "I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed."

don't upset the mouse

Of course, that's not what she said in the story. But it's what she has to say now, because Disney is upset. A Disney spokesperson told the New York Times: "Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines." What should have been added to that quote: "And if there's any manipulation to be done, it will be done by us alone."

Parents are already turning their kids against Cyrus/Montana because of the photos. But that's not the lesson to be learned here. Kids should abandon Miley Cyrus because she caved in to pressure and she's allowing herself to be manipulated by Disney or her own handlers (parents included). Whatever happened to girl power, thinking and acting for yourself? You can't always have the best of both worlds: squeaky clean Disney star by day, normal teen by night. Well, maybe you can - by growing a backbone and telling people to get over it. "It's my back. Deal with it."

-- Luckily for us, this is a far better distraction: VH1 has officially come up with the dumbest reality show ever. Think about that for a second. It's no easy feat. But "Celebracadabra" is a new low. From VH1: "This is a reality competition show where we take seven celebrities, pair them with prominent magicians and teach them magic."

Oh, sorry, you lost us at "magicians."

By the way, here are the "celebrities" in question. We've added their star qualifications in parenthesis to help you: Carnie Wilson (famous dad, nearly successful music career, weight issues contained by stomach surgery), C. Thomas Howell (once had skin painted black for movie), Lisa Ann Walter (lots of failed sitcoms, infectious laugh), Chris "Kid" Reid (part of forgotten rap duo Kid 'N Play), Hal Sparks (who knows) Ant (God only knows) and Kimberly Wyatt (Pussycat Dolls). To which we say: Wow.

Toss in some magicians, and you've got "Celebracadabra," a.k.a. "The Worst Idea Ever."

double trouble

-- Hey, Oprah is going to interview Tom Cruise two times in a week! Quick, grab that pen and jam it into my eye.

-- Fox has a new reality series coming where it tracks down "Bad Dads." Hey, Billy Ray, look through the peephole before you open the door.

-- Whoa, stop the presses. We may have a new contender for this week's edition of "The Worst Idea Ever." Turns out that CBS is going to have a crossover episode with - wait for it - "CSI" and "Two and a Half Men." Uh, that's not real, right? And if it is, shouldn't the "CSI" team be looking for dead comedies over on Fox instead?

-- Also, VH1 announced that it was taking three of its soul-crushing reality shows - "Flavor of Love," "Rock of Love" and "I Love New York" - and spinning them off into yet another series called "I Love Money." Apparently, it will feature hoochie skanks and hangers-on from those programs squaring off in a game show. Which brings up a fantastic question of ethics, spirituality and physics: If the head of VH1 and the head of E network were racing to the gates of hell at the same time, which one would Satan usher in first?

-- In a world of inanity and has-beens and magicians, what's so wrong about Miley Cyrus showing part of her back in a photo taken by Annie Leibovitz? She's 15 - and in show business years, that's like 40.

Come on, she's not Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan or Vanessa Hudgens (yet). It reminds us all that we live in a sublime world. Like when President Bush appeared on "Deal or No Deal." We're sure that if given the chance, John F. Kennedy or Franklin D. Roosevelt would have jumped at the chance to appear on a big screen next to Howie Mandel.

-- This is now, officially, the most depressing column ever written about our culture - and it didn't even mention Gary Coleman.

-- Oh, wait. Turns out the "Diff'rent Strokes" star, now 40, will be appearing on "Divorce Court" Thursday and Friday with his 22-year-old wife. And no, that's not a joke. And neither is the item about President Bush on "Deal or No Deal." In fact, it's all real. You may now go outside and fall on the ground and weep.

-- Bring me the head of Ant.

-- The High Fives: 1. Showtime renewing "The Tudors" for a third season. 2. Production beginning on Season 2 of "Mad Men," which will premiere in July on AMC - in HD. The Season 1 DVD will be available that same month. 3. Season 4 of "MI-5" starts on BBC America on May 21. 4. "Battlestar Galactica." 5. "Lost."

E-mail Tim Goodman at tgoodman@sfchronicle.com. You can read his blog, the Bastard Machine, at sfgate.com/blogs